Contact from Agency

Well, even though I told myself to forget this one - that I didn't feel comfortable with all the risk. I can't stop thinking about Grant. I have prayed so many nights while laying in bed. I'm not sure if I even get more than a few hours of sleep because I just lay there praying. Last night I specifically asked God to show me clearly if we should pursue this adoption.

Three things happened - and I'm not saying that each of these was from God -- but I'm not saying that they weren't either.

1. The agency contact reached out to me this morning. Her email was so kind and not pushy at all as I remember the last one being. She simply asked if we were still considering this child and if she could answer any more questions for us. So of course I went back and read her last email to us - the one where I thought she was pushy - and realized that she wasn't being pushy at all and actually answered all of our previous questions.

2. I also specifically prayed about the age difference between Ashley and Grant. While Eric and I are open to adopting out of birth order - we did not want them in the same grade. I prayed that I would feel peace about this should it happen and prayed for wisdom about this. I was searching our school districts website for enrollment dates to make sure that I was right that Grant would be one year ahead of Ashley should we get him soon and he be able to start Kindergarten on time - when I found a blessing. Our school district is the only one in the state of Texas that has a Chinese/English bilingual Kindergarten program. WOW! So if we can get him home and get him in this program he will still be able to stay one year ahead of Ashley. I have chills. I know the transition could go badly and he may not be able to start school when we hope that he can - but this at least gives us some possibility of it happening.

3. This is totally dumb - I know. But I was reading about adopting older children on a well known blog and all of the posts were from one writer -- there were about 20 posts -- and the writer's name is Grant. So dumb - I know - I'm not saying it's a "sign". But just one more thing today that is putting Grant in front of me.

So I am emailing the agency contact back - asking for her thoughts on if he would be able to enter a Chinese/English Kindergarten when we get him home. Not expecting much of an answer b/c I know it is so dependent on each specific child....but we'll see what she has to say.

Eric sees Grant

I finally told Eric about Grant. Not that I was hiding him -- but rather I guess I didn't realize how much I thought of this boy until now. I shared his picture and little bio with Eric and we watched his video together.

"Grant"

There is a little boy who has captured my heart. I think of him often. I watch his video on an agency website several times a week. I have kept this to myself. No one reads this blog - it is private for now. He is precious. He is in my thoughts always. I have started calling him Grant as he is only assigned a number - I do not know his name. To me he is Grant.

Lord, is this our little boy? Why do I think of him so often? Why has his sweet little video captured my heart and thoughts? Are we to adopt this little boy? Is it your will for us to adopt now? adopt Grant? If it is your will, Lord, please put adoption on Eric's heart.