Contact from Agency

Well, even though I told myself to forget this one - that I didn't feel comfortable with all the risk. I can't stop thinking about Grant. I have prayed so many nights while laying in bed. I'm not sure if I even get more than a few hours of sleep because I just lay there praying. Last night I specifically asked God to show me clearly if we should pursue this adoption.

Three things happened - and I'm not saying that each of these was from God -- but I'm not saying that they weren't either.

1. The agency contact reached out to me this morning. Her email was so kind and not pushy at all as I remember the last one being. She simply asked if we were still considering this child and if she could answer any more questions for us. So of course I went back and read her last email to us - the one where I thought she was pushy - and realized that she wasn't being pushy at all and actually answered all of our previous questions.

2. I also specifically prayed about the age difference between Ashley and Grant. While Eric and I are open to adopting out of birth order - we did not want them in the same grade. I prayed that I would feel peace about this should it happen and prayed for wisdom about this. I was searching our school districts website for enrollment dates to make sure that I was right that Grant would be one year ahead of Ashley should we get him soon and he be able to start Kindergarten on time - when I found a blessing. Our school district is the only one in the state of Texas that has a Chinese/English bilingual Kindergarten program. WOW! So if we can get him home and get him in this program he will still be able to stay one year ahead of Ashley. I have chills. I know the transition could go badly and he may not be able to start school when we hope that he can - but this at least gives us some possibility of it happening.

3. This is totally dumb - I know. But I was reading about adopting older children on a well known blog and all of the posts were from one writer -- there were about 20 posts -- and the writer's name is Grant. So dumb - I know - I'm not saying it's a "sign". But just one more thing today that is putting Grant in front of me.

So I am emailing the agency contact back - asking for her thoughts on if he would be able to enter a Chinese/English Kindergarten when we get him home. Not expecting much of an answer b/c I know it is so dependent on each specific child....but we'll see what she has to say.

Grant's File

The agency contact responded and sent us Grant's file. We have about 6 pages of various medical check-ups and we also have a 2 page document on all the things he can do (dress himself, recite poetry, hop on one foot, etc). We also received about 6 photos of him. None are baby photos.

I responded to her with our 3 rather serious questions.

1. What are our chances of getting approved? Is agency willing to hold off on collecting fees until we receive approval?

2. How long is it from the day we tell you 'yes' from the day we bring him home? We are concerned about a long wait and that pushing school back and then him and Ashley being in the same grade.

3. What is your side of the story regarding the news expose? What happens if you lose your accreditation to place children? What happens to our adoption should you go out of business?

Received a response the next day. I felt that the responses were not adequate and were kind of pushy. Told myself to forget it. I just felt uneasy. Told Eric the same thing.

Scary Stuff

Being the psycho internet sleuth that I am - I have been trying to find any info that I can on "our" agency. Well, what I found wasn't good. Apparently they were featured on a television program in another country and not in a good light. Unethical behavior in one of their country programs. While this program is not the China program -- and while I'm not sure how you can ever know whose side the truth lies on - it still concerns me. I don't want to work with an agency that may or may not be ethical.

Contacted Agency

Although we still aren't sure if this is what God is calling us to do, we have contacted the agency that holds Grant's file to get some more information from them.

The lady that we contacted is out of the office on vacation until October 6th. Man, that seems like forever to get some more information. China has specific requirements that adoptive parents must meet. We do not meet two of those rules. In some instances they are willing to waive the requirements for waiting children (SN). We emailed the agency contact to see what she thought our chances of getting approved are. We will continue to pray about this child.

CHOSEN: one day workshop

CHOSEN hosted another If You Were Mine workshop. This was just a one day workshop - but it was on Saturday and Eric was able to attend with me - not just talk about it with me while I attended.

We didn't decide until the last minute to attend. It was good. Glad we went. Eric is still not sure if now is the time. Honestly, I'm not sure either. I keep praying and seeking guidance from God.

Eric sees Grant

I finally told Eric about Grant. Not that I was hiding him -- but rather I guess I didn't realize how much I thought of this boy until now. I shared his picture and little bio with Eric and we watched his video together.

"Grant"

There is a little boy who has captured my heart. I think of him often. I watch his video on an agency website several times a week. I have kept this to myself. No one reads this blog - it is private for now. He is precious. He is in my thoughts always. I have started calling him Grant as he is only assigned a number - I do not know his name. To me he is Grant.

Lord, is this our little boy? Why do I think of him so often? Why has his sweet little video captured my heart and thoughts? Are we to adopt this little boy? Is it your will for us to adopt now? adopt Grant? If it is your will, Lord, please put adoption on Eric's heart.