DUH

First frustrating, "are you serious, adoption moment"

Called Ashley's pediatrician's office to see if her dr. would review our 6 pages of sparse medical info on Grant and give us a little insight. HA! Seems easy enough, right? WRONG!

Receptionist: Hello, blah blah blah

Me: My daughter is a patient of Dr. X, we are in the process of adopting a little boy from China that is considered special needs. I would like to schedule a time to review his medical file w/ Dr. X.

Receptionist: How old is the child, Dr. X can only see new patients for well checks.

Me: He is 5.

Receptionist: Is he current on his shots?

Me: I don't know - all I have on him is 6 sheets of paper - there is no shot information.

Receptionist: Well, I can't schedule an appointment without knowing which well check visit this will be and we have to know if he's current on his shots for that.

Me: I don't see why this matters - he will not be coming with me - I haven't adopted him yet. I just want Dr. X to look over his medical file. It won't take long maybe 15 minutes - we don't have much.

Receptionist: Does he have insurance?

Me: No, not yet. We haven't adopted him yet - but he will once it is final.

Receptionist: Well, I can't book an appointment for him.

Me: How much is Dr. X's standard rate for an appt? We can just pay for it.

Receptionist: I already told you that I can't book you for an appointment because you don't know about his shots.

Me: I don't see why it matters - he won't be coming for shots. Can I book an appointment like I did before we had our daughter Ashley. We came in to chat. Can I have an appointment like that?

Receptionist: No, those consults are only for new parents.

Me: I will be a new parent to this child.

Receptionist: You said he was five.

Me: I just want to show her his file - is there any way to do this?

Receptionist: I will track down Dr. X in between appointments and see what she says - either she or I will call you back.

Me: Thank you. I really appreciate your help. ((( trying not to scream or show my sarcasm!)

Still waiting 2 days later for a call. nice.

I know this is just one of many frustrations to come. I have heard that enrolling in school is fun without a social security number or shot record. YIPEE! But honestly I hope I get to fight those battles - because if I don't that means that we were denied Grant.

LOI to agency

We drafted our LOI (Letter of Intent) to CCAA (China) seeking pre-approval to adopt Grant. We also submitted three photographs of our family.

I emailed the letter to our agency - who will then translate our LOI and submit it electronically to CCAA. We have been told that it could be a few days to several weeks before we hear on our PA.

I am still very nervous about getting rejected; although our agency seems to think we will receive a waiver. Time will tell.

Still praying for God's guidance in this process. Praying that God will open doors for us if this is to be and get the waiver granted.

Birth Certificates

Submitted a request tonight for our Birth Certificates. These will be part of our DTC (Dossier to China). At least I think so -- or they might be for our homestudy or perhaps for our I800 --- it is all slightly confusing to me. I just know that at some point we will need these and it's just easier to go ahead and request now rather than wait for them later.

I think Ashley and I will hop in the car tomorrow morning and make a drive to fort worth. Eric and I's marriage certificate is filled in Tarrant County. Requests can be made in person for a certified copy -- so I think we will do that tomorrow. Just another document that we can mark off the list.

I really want to get a jump start on all the paperchasing as it's called. I don't want the ball to ever be in our court just waiting on something that we could have had done. The wait is 10-14 months. And I don't want to add to that with any delays we could prevent.

The Decision

I started to feel very strongly the past two weeks that God has placed a child in front of us and we are supposed to follow him and proceed down the path to adoption. While we wait to hear back from the agency contact there are so many what if's that I can think of and so many fears I have that this whole thing could go so terribly wrong. I feel so deeply that God is willing this - I must stand courageous and follow what I feel is right.

I read the Proverbs 31 Ministries daily devotion. Here is today's...

"Who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should defy the armies of the living God?" 1 Samuel 17:26b (NIV)

I grew up loving the story of David and Goliath. I read about it in little Golden Books, and Sunday school teachers retold the drama using flannel boards. I can almost picture the shepherd boy David standing his ground in front of the giant Goliath with only a slingshot, while the entire Israelite army quaked in fear. Woosh, woosh, woosh, around his head the slingshot swung. With a strong arm, David let the stone fly and bam! The giant fell, and David was victorious.

What a great story! But is it a story to be left in the history books, or are we to learn anything from David's example? As I read the passage in 1 Samuel, chapter 17, a few things jumped out at me. First, David wasn't planning to get in a fight that day. He was just an errand boy sent to deliver food to his brothers. So truly, he was just a bystander to the fight. But as David neared the front lines, he quickly realized what was happening. He heard the taunts of Goliath, and got drawn into the situation. Something within David's heart started to stir. David tried to get someone to answer his questions about this bully. He wanted to know what was going to be done.

David finally asked in exasperation: "Who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should defy the armies of the living God?" David's anger wasn't for the threat given to himself, nor his brothers. His anger burned because someone dared to threaten and defy those chosen by his God.

When the trained professionals wouldn't step forward, David – confident of his God's power and protection – put five stones in his shepherd's bag and approached the bully. Calmly, David said to Goliath, "You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied" (1 Samuel 17:45).

We could write off the courage of David as a legend to be enjoyed, but not applied to our lives today. Except for two biblical truths: 1) David was a man after God's heart (Acts 13:22) and 2) God doesn't change (Malachi 3:6).

Although Jesus calls us to a life of forgiveness and compassion, even He didn't tolerate those who dishonored God's holy temple. With righteous indignation, Jesus turned over tables, and drove out money changers and those who were selling doves within the walls of the temple, accusing them of turning His father's house into "a den of robbers" (Mark 11:17). The Bible records many stories of men and women with moral courage. These individuals knew what was right, and were willing to take a stand in spite of their own fear. They weren't perfect, but the heroes of our faith saw injustice as more than a personal offense, they saw it as an offense against God.

As it becomes easier to settle into a life of ambiguity, our children are finding it harder to summon moral outrage. Today a challenge is set before us as parents to raise, and to be, men and women who will stand for what is right. We live in a world that needs the touch of God through the hand of His people. We can't be bystanders and make a difference.

As parents we can instill moral courage into our children by stepping out in faith to help someone else, in spite of inherent risks. You see, we can't learn moral courage from a book. We can only learn it by being brave once. Then doing it again

Dear Lord, there's a part of my heart that stirs when I read of the brave heroes in the Bible. I know there is so much to do in the world. But You know my fear. Help me to trust You more, so that I can stand up for what is right in spite of the danger. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Agency Application

Told the agency yesterday. We submitted our agency application today.

Received auto-response - agency contact is out of the office until Monday...of course.

Eric is there

WOW. I did not see this coming. Eric called me at lunch today. He never calls from work. I honestly thought something was wrong. It wasn't. He just said, "I think we should go for it".

So -- here we go. I am scared and at peace. This is from God.

Eric says he doesn't know if we are ultimately supposed to raise Grant - but he feels that we need to trust God and go down this path and see where God takes us. He is so wise.

Jen is there

I feel at peace. I feel God is calling us to attempt to adopt Grant. I say attempt because of the requirements China places on adoptive families. We do not qualify - we will need to see a waiver.

Eric and I talked for a long time tonight. He says he's still not sure. I completely respect that. And honestly am relieved to have the decision off me. While I feel that God is calling us on this path -- I am scared to death. There are so many what if's. So many. We are blind as to the outcome of this - completely. I am relying on the fact that I can continue to pray that if God desires this for our family that he will put Grant on Eric's heart...until then I will wait. But I did mention to Eric tonight that I'm there. I feel this is what we are supposed to do...and I don't want to still be sitting here considering Grant in December. Simply because time is important here. Grant turned five on September 5th - each day we sit around waiting is another day that he gets older. The older he gets the greater chance we have of him and Ashley being in the same grade. Having said that I did not put a deadline on Eric's decision. I am going to sit back and continue to pray for awhile more.