Jen is there

I feel at peace. I feel God is calling us to attempt to adopt Grant. I say attempt because of the requirements China places on adoptive families. We do not qualify - we will need to see a waiver.

Eric and I talked for a long time tonight. He says he's still not sure. I completely respect that. And honestly am relieved to have the decision off me. While I feel that God is calling us on this path -- I am scared to death. There are so many what if's. So many. We are blind as to the outcome of this - completely. I am relying on the fact that I can continue to pray that if God desires this for our family that he will put Grant on Eric's heart...until then I will wait. But I did mention to Eric tonight that I'm there. I feel this is what we are supposed to do...and I don't want to still be sitting here considering Grant in December. Simply because time is important here. Grant turned five on September 5th - each day we sit around waiting is another day that he gets older. The older he gets the greater chance we have of him and Ashley being in the same grade. Having said that I did not put a deadline on Eric's decision. I am going to sit back and continue to pray for awhile more.